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Saturday, January 11, 2014

3 years since sentencing...


This picture is me finding out my Mothers murderers sentencing. I'm smiling and crying at the same time. I'm SO HAPPY the photographer from the Long Beach Press Telegram got this image. This sums up all of my emotions about that night. Smile because it could be worse, cry because she is gone. The judge read the sentencing in the court room but I didn't understand what he meant. This is the prosecutor explaining it to me. (Note: she is NOT my attorney, I wasn't allowed to hire my own. This was a crime against the state of California, NOT ME. She was representing the state, NOT ME or my family. This was made very clear. The murderer could fire as many public defenders as she wanted, but I had to take whatever the state gave my family. We went through one mistrial, but this prosecutor was amazing, I'm so thankful. )

my handwritten notes from sentencing. Count 1 was my moms murder which she received 16 years for. Count 2: my attempted murder, 13 years. They thought she was after me, but "accidentally" killed my mom. Count 3: My grandmas attempted murder: 3 years, 8 months. Count 4: My aunts attempted murder: 3 years, 8 months. 
My victims impact statement. I wrote it the night before, and read it from this yellow  notepad paper. Signed as my maiden name (which looks so weird now!) it's f***** up I even have to keep a file named "dept. of corrections info" in my file cabinet.)

 And now I present to you my victims impact statement. I haven't read over it until now. I was specifically told not to show emotion or talk TO the murderer, but I knew she would be there hearing it so it was a little hard not to direct this to her. I cried SO hard at first that I couldn't even say the words. At one point I had to put my head down, the prosecutor came and put her hand on my back until I calmed down. 
 Jan. 13, 2011  Honorable Judge Higa, I have been driving myself crazy trying to find words to express how I feel. I don't think it's possible. I could go on for days about how much this ONE person, and one night, has changed my entire life. Virginia Krall murdered my mother. She stabbed her in the chest 30 times with a knife from our own kitchen. In doing so, she murdered a part of me. If it was up to her I would not be here today. I would be dead too. She only stopped stabbing me because my mom woke up. The guilt that I have for surviving while my mom did not has been an unbelievable and tremendous burden to live with. I have thought over and over again about how my mom must have felt as she lay dying, and "What if I had done something differently?" Maybe she would still be here today, or maybe we would all be dead, and maybe that would be easier." My mom was murdered at the young age of 37, with so much left to do and see. She was a wonderful mother who loved me unconditionally. Even as an 18 year old I could sit on her lap and cry and feel just as comforted by her as I did as a young child. She was always very affectionate with me and I knew I could count on her. I miss that, and I miss her SO MUCH, so powerfully, that sometimes I think I can still feel her, or that she can feel me. It makes me miserable to think she could still be here, I could still hear her voice, feel her embrace, and have her love if it wasn't for Virginia Krall. There is NO OTHER REASON she is not here today.  On my moms death certificate it reads cause of death: multiple stab wounds to the chest. I read it and it is just as shocking as it was June 16, 2006 while I lay in the hospital bed hearing that she did not survive. As soon as I left the hospital, 10 days after Virginia Krall took my mother from me, the fear started to kick in. It has managed to affect and control most of my life; the times I feel comfortable leaving my house, to the movies I watch, to the quality of my sleep... I feel like a child. Post traumatic stress is very real and debilitating. I'm envious of friends my age who seem to live their lives without irrational fear, who still have their mothers to guide and love them. I still have nightmares about people breaking in, people murdering me in various ways, or people murdering my mom, and I miss the days when I could wake up and think "thank God that was just a nightmare!", instead of waking up to realize this is my reality.The fact that Ms. Krall led a "normal" life up until June 16, 2006; holding jobs, going to school, having relationships, no trouble from the law for 22 years; leads me to believe she was SANE, and KNEW RIGHT FROM WRONG. The fact that she had watched me in the window before that night, and even before she broke in, leads me to believe that it was something she thought about before she broke into our home.  Her intent was to kill. You don't accidentally stab someone 30 times, after hiding in the house for 20 minutes before attacking them in their OWN BED, and you don't accidentally find yourself, knife in hand, trying to slit someones throat. She knew what she was doing.
 I find it hard to function now with her behind bars, I can't imagine living knowing she is free to harm anyone else, or maybe myself again, in any way. I am 23, and she is 26, our similar ages make me BEG OF YOU to keep her in prison for LIFE. This will never be put behind me, and please don't let her have that right of putting it behind her!
My mother is not just another news article or statistic, murder is all over the news and we are all used to hearing about it and think that we can just turn away, but I guarantee behind the 1 person you see in the newspaper who lost their life, there is a handful of people who have also been knocked down and devastated by the loss. Someones brother, sister, mother.. you can't bring them back, but you CAN make sure their murderers can't be released to further terrorize victims who have lost so much already.
I also feel sorry for the other lives affected by this murder. The Shmulz family she was staying with, who I'm sure felt some guilt she was allowed to stay there. Her own family, who has to accept that their daughter is a murderer, it is none of their fault. All fault lies in her, and she must take responsibility for her actions. 
Please give Virginia Krall the MAXIMUM sentence for the murder of my mother, Yolanda Meraz, and the attempted murders of myself, my aunt, and my grandma. It is my strongest belief that if you hold such low regard for your own life, and the lives of complete strangers, you are PAST THE POINT OF REHABILITATION. No murderer should ever be free to live among innocent human beings. I NEVER WANT TO SEE THE DAY WHEN SHE IS RELEASED. Thank you so much for your time.

Respectfully yours,
Megan Bufford



This was the craziest time of my life (aside from the night itself, of course)



Me wearing my moms pin during the sentencing, holding up a photo board of her. Me and Matt waiting anxiously for the verdict. My dad's face says it all... VK walking in. Me finding out the verdict.

SO TRUE